Vulnerability always seemed foreign to me. The thought that someone might know the darkest parts of me terrified me. Its the reason I had friends but hardly experienced friendship and the reason I had family but never felt seen.
Opening up is scary. Im scared of the rejection i might receive, that i might be loved less or perceived with negativity or that i deserved to be loved less.
This year ive been changing that. Opening up about my fears, my thought patterns & suicidal thoughts, my depression and anxiety with those close to me & man has that been a blessing. I’ve had friends who’ve seen me in my brokenness and pulled me out of it. Family members that have poured truth over areas of my life where i’ve believed the narratives of fear, depression, anxiety, shame and the list goes on.
What’s kept in the dark will remain in the dark. And in the dark it will only grow and create chaos. Hiding allowed fear to manifest in my imagination. And that became ugly.
My fears werent addressed just pushed aside.
But the beauty of being vulnerable is this : opening up to the right people will bring you healing. God heals and he can work through others to bring it about. Your relationship with those around you grows. It becomes deeper.
We live life without loneliness.
Whatevers hidden in the dark, bring it to the light.
Then God can shine the sunshine of his love and truth on it & man oh man the devil can no longer use it against you.