Renewal of the mind:)

Often times i catch myself overthinking things and by often i mean alot! These days i’ve been trying to address them as they come. I try to find the root cause of the thoughts that i have. Whether it stems from fear, hatred, anger, jealousy, self-pity, pride, impatience, selfishness, rebelliousness – negative thoughts in general.

Whenever i find myself thinking “bad/negative thoughts” so to say, i identify it straight away and do my best not to dwell on it. I quickly replace it with thoughts of kindness, forgiveness, joyfulness and love. I replace it with the word of God. Its so easy for me to be worldy in the way that my mind works. There are thoughts that pop up out of nowhere sometimes that i have no idea where they come from.

I’ve been noticing how my thoughts have patterns. Its like a cyle of destruction because i used to deal with crippling fear, anxiety and depression, my thoughts centered around them. And because my actions and decision making always stemed out of fear for years (since i was 13yrs) my brain automatically reacts in the pattern and cycle of fear (insecurity, shame, guilt, timidness, anger,etc). It became a defense mechanism for my brain, like its on default setting.

For the past year till date i’ve been on a process of re-wiring my brain to operate out of love, joy, peace, kindness, humility, all in the graciousness of my loving Father ofcourse. It can be overwhelming sometimes because my brain is like a jungle. Sometimes i drift back to old ways and then i get mad at myself for being so weak but it is in those moments when i am weak He is strong.

We are never promised an easy life. My journey as a christian is to be a daily renewal of the mind, to become more Christlike. It’s actually amazing because the more i renew my mind the more i am reminded of how weak i am, how impotent i am, how self-absorbed i am and overall how much i need Jesus. The daily renewal of the mind is a conscious decision that i make to choose Jesus in every moment. A decision of daily surrender to His will and not mine. Where He becomes greater and i become less. Where in every moment He is all. Now i am far from perfect and i slip up at times but i’m blown away at how much He pursues me in my worst moments and meets me where I’m at.

I encourage you if you are pursuing a life where you want Jesus to be your all and you find yourself going back to old ways, but u truly want to change, remember that in our weakness His strength is made perfect in us. Continue to pursue Jesus with the darkness withing you and come before His perfect love. The sunshine of His perfect love! Have faith that it will shine through you. Don’t be discouraged by what is happening in your current circumstances or what you see.

As we surrender we believe that our Heavenly Father is working in us, even if you dont feel that He is working, even if you feel nothing is changing. Place your hope in our Creator that He will in His time reveal His glory. He is always working in us through His Holy Spirit living within us.

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

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